In the first installment, published Feb. 27, Clay-White described her initial reaction to the news. In her second installment, she described her bout with depression and how she is overcoming it. This is the third of four installments.

March 7:I pull up to Dr. Heath’s office around 10 a.m. I have so many emotions running through me right now.

Of course, I didn’t want to go by myself, so I brought Brooke along for support. We sit in the waiting room for about 15 minutes, and then the nurse calls me.

She takes us down the hall into a room I haven’t been in before. It is much bigger than the regular exam room – maybe because it has to house the ultrasound machine.

I lie on the examining table and tell Brooke to move her chair next to me so she can see the screen.

The ultrasound technician comes in and gets right to work. She pours this cold gel on my stomach and starts moving it around.

She explains that she has to take 40 to 50 pictures of the baby to put in my records and then she will let me see.

so I’m lying there anxious to see what’s growing inside me and it seems like it’s taking FOREVER!

“Okay Ms. Clay-White, now it’s your turn,” the nurse says.

She turns the screen towards Brooke and me.

“What are you hoping for?” the nurse asks.

I tell her it doesn’t matter, but I’ve been praying for a boy. I just know that little person growing inside me is a boy.

Let alone that I’ve been telling everyone I’m having a boy, even though I wasn’t positive. I guess it’s that mother’s instinct.

The nurse shows me the baby’s arms, legs, and heart. Finally, she starts moving down … IT’S A BOY!

I smile from ear to ear.

“I told you! I knew it!” I tell Brooke and the nurse simultaneously.

The nurse prints out six pictures as a keepsake — I’m surprised at how clear they are.

You can see everything. My favorite one is of him raising his fist in the air while he’s on his back.

God, I can’t believe I’m about to be a mommy!

Oh, and his name will be Aiden Nicholas. Sounds nice, huh?

March 8: I’m on the plane with my ultrasounds snuggled tightly in my purse.

I’m really starting to show so I know I’ll be getting the question, “What are you having?” and any chance I get, I’m going to show off my son.

I’m sitting next to a couple with a small toddler who refuses to sit down. Usually, I would get irritated because my rest is disturbed by some kid, but now I put myself in their shoes.

I simply turn to the side and start playing with the little girl. This seems to quiet her down — but not for long.

After she gets bored of playing peek-a-boo, her dad takes her into the aisle to walk around.

Just think — that’ll be me in another year. I just wish the way I looked at people with rowdy children on planes won’t happen to me.

But I doubt my wish will come true.

My plane touches down in California and I remember that I have a funeral to attend today.

My childhood friend Regina has passed away from a rare form of cancer. She is only 23 years old. I have many emotions going on. I’m angry, sad and confused.

It’s crazy, because I think about her parents and grandparents. They’ve lost their baby girl.

I’m crying because Aiden isn’t even here yet and the thought of losing him before I die saddens me.

March 17 Spring break is over and I’m not ready to start classes again. But who is?

I met with Dr. Moore today and she thinks that I’m doing a lot better than I was a month ago. As a result, she reduced our meetings to once a week instead of twice a week. For now, I’m focused on graduating and preparing for the birth of my son.

March 23: Today has been such a hard day. It’s Easter and I’m usually around family, but since I’m all the way across the country, I don’t have anywhere to go.

My mentee’s mother has invited me over, but when I call the house, no one answers the phone.

I hope they’re okay, but right now I’m just alone and we all know the battles I face whenever I am alone.

All my friends went out of town, so I’m stuck at home eating McDonald’s.

I call my mom crying, but I know there’s nothing she can do. I just need to vent.

But my mother tells me to remember that this time next year, I’ll be at home preparing an Easter egg hunt for Aiden.

That thought puts a smile on my face and my emotions at ease.

I’m going to take a much needed nap and hopefully by the time I wake up, it will be Monday.

April 4: Ugh! I’m having the worst week ever! I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy hormones, but it seems like my tolerance for people (especially men) is extremely low.

I’m driving down the street on the way to school when this old man in a pick-up pulls up besides me.

You know how you know when someone is staring at you? Well, I can feel this pervert staring at me. I look to my right and he has the nerve to lick his crusty lips at me!

I curse him out for being such a pervert and drive off. I could be his daughter’s age, but I guess he doesn’t mind. I’m getting hit on all of the time and it’s so annoying!

I feel like I get more advances now than before I was pregnant. My friends tell me I should feel good because most women don’t look half as good as I do, but I beg to differ. I’m just so disgusted with the male gender right now.

I talk to my doctor about my feelings, and he says that it’s normal to be emotional right now.

April 8: Today is a sad day at my school. A friend has passed for unknown reasons. His name is Tyrell. That’s two deaths in less than 30 days, and both under the age of 25.

What’s going on? A time like this makes me question God, even though I know I shouldn’t.

I wasn’t close with Tyrell, but it still hurts to know that someone who is so loved could be taken from his family and friends suddenly. I just pray that everyone can remain strong during this trying time.

He was supposed to graduate and walk across the same stage that I’ll be walking across in less than a month. These two passings make me realize how blessed I am to be able to give life to another human being. March 14: It’s crunch time! Graduation is 19 days away and I’m stressing out.

April 14: It’s crunch time! Graduation is 19 days away and I’m stressing out.

This past weekend, I locked myself in my room, focused on writing my papers and studied. It was hard, but I accomplished a majority of what needs to be done.

Oh, Aiden has been kicking a lot, too! He used to only move around at night, but whenever I’m still, he wants to move around.

So I’m guessing he’s going to keep me on my toes when he finally gets here. I’ve been very anxious because I just want to be able to hold him.

I have about three months to go, but I’m being very impatient. I can’t help it. It comes most when I’m lying in bed and I can feel him moving around.

I can already see characteristics of myself in him. Weird, huh?

My baby shower is this weekend, too. Excited? Yes!

I’m just happy that I’ve come such a long way since November — from suicidal thoughts to a mental breakdown to preparing for graduation. It’s crazy.

But then again, if it wasn’t for my family and friends, I don’t even know where I would be right now. I think I’ll go ahead and get ready for bed.

I’ll talk to you soon.